WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
