He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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