Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
