Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
