So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
