I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
