the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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