I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Randomize
