Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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