My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
