Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
