some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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