Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
