think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize