**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
It's Friday. Sex?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
