I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
