Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
