can we get nightvision for the apartment?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
