I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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