you guys were way drunker than both of me
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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