there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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