yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize