are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
