I think I died a long time ago.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
