In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
