it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
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