i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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