It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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