sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
