Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
