wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
