I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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