i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
