After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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