that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
