Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
