i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
