she looked like the before picture.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
