Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
