He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
