can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
