My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
