Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
So apparently I’m into choking now
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
