I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
everyone is single if you try hard enough
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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