After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
