PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
