I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
