He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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