Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize