You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
