Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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