I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Use "feeling words"
Yay
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
