areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
