he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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