so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
They have beer where we have blood.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
