how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
