since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Congratulations! We have a period
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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