Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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