Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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