and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
