How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
