they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
