Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
