soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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