you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
