I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
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